Finally fed

Finally DN penetrated me. I'm no more a virgin LOL. It was hard at first but then it became easy. I felt like I'm about to shit the whole process. What made it easy? Perhaps I was really ready and very much willing and want DN to penetrate me, of course KY helped a lot.

Wondering

Still wondering what DN and BB see in me. I'm fat, dark, short and ugly, in other words, I'm nothing to look at.

Professes or Confesses

DN professes or confesses his love for me. I'm happy. Never would I thought that he has such feelings for me. For one with his looks he can about get anyone he wants. Secondly, with his somewhat 'I don't give a damn' attitude, I figured I was just a piece of shit.

NEW POST

I've been given a new post. I don't consider it to be a promotion, it's more like a rotation. Of course it comes with responsibilities that I do not want. But I consider this to be a gift from Allah, he's trying to tell me or show me something. I will do it all for Allah. The thing that I hate about this post is the fact that I have to give speeches.

DN

Dear DN

How I love thee? What I did to you yesterday I have never done it on anyone else. You must then be special.

Love them Both

Love them both the same though their personalities are different. But when their heads are on my chest, they felt the same. Both are beautiful creatures to look at and both I treat the same.

One is full of courtesy, the other one seem slightly crude. One expresses his feelings truthfully, the other I can only infer from his texts. One I know will last and has lasted longer, the other I feel it won't cause the former is total, the latter is only partly.

Blissful

This week has been a blissful week for me. What I have dreamed of happening with someone happened with someone else who is even more desirable. Don't know how long it will last but will work at making it to last as long as it can...thank you DN. BB and DN, I love you both.

Thoughts

Dear Phi Phi

I thought I don't miss you anymore, but I'm missing you all over again after seeing you today.


Dear Others

Though what they are doing is not right but don't go overboard criticizing them. One ofyour children might just turn out to be like them.

Phi Phi

I miss you

Problem

A relation is having financial problem and to a certain degree it is affecting me. As a family member I had helped and will help this person out but I have to a draw a line to the amount I can help...and this confuses me slightly...should I be helping out all the time? I'm mostly afraid that other people will say that I'm one of those who would run away when some one is in trouble but will be close by during happy times. The truth is even during happy times I wasn't around that much and never took advantage of the happy situations.

I have thought about the root of this person's financial problem and only God knows why. An ustaz once told us at a 'ceramah' that when a person has gone for his hajj, he will never be poor again. His rezeki will be plenty. This person has gone to hajj twice and why is this happening him/her?

I don't have the answer.

Radar

Can we really trust our gaydar? We can't actually. Our gaydar might be too sensitive and hence we interpret the signals the way we want. We may interpret a person's silence, look, actions as signs that he is one of us, but in actual fact he is not. He may like us but no lust for us.

Update on Marriage (not mine of course)

1. A friend in Africa

Got married, has a child, move to Africa. Husband lives with his girlfriend, she lives with her son. Girlfriend left husband, husband move in wife's house, now husband wants wife back.

2. A friend in KL

Married 9 years ago on an island in the South China Sea. After few years husband not showing interest in the marriage and got divorced this year. Divorce was not messy, they both had the same lawyer.

3. A friend cum colleague.

Married many years ago, did not seem like they were having problem. Got divorced, the colleague got married, got divorce again and planning to marry another one in December.

4. A friend and a former colleague.

She's from a very rich family, went to the States, got married to a tabligh member, had five kids or probably 6. She recently divorced the husband because she wanted to get married to another man. Children with the husband. She once wore tudung labuh.

That's life.

KARMA

What comes around goes around.

My journey to get the final degree was a pleasant one. No major obstacles, no hatreds towards anyone - none to my supervisor at all. I would say that the whole process was a smooth one. I got through each process only once. The smoothness and pleasantness of the whole experience I mostly attribute it to karma. I thought to believe in such a thing was not logical but today two of my colleagues believe in it too.

While supervising my undergraduate students in completing their academic projects I made the process easy, simple and pleasant. I told them what they need to do in a nice way , 'Id joke with them and did not ask them to do things I know they are not capable of. I was treated the same way by my supervisor and within the stipulated time I graduated.

Three of my friends have not completed their Phd. One started in 2002, the other in 2003 and another in 2005. I know for a fact they did not make the experience pleasant ones for their students. I know one would spent hours just correcting each and every mistake, the other would only give low grades to students despite their effort and originality and the other demanded things that were impossible for their students.

So my theory shared by others too.

Thoughts

My 2 cent thoughts for today:

I sympathize with the police more than with the boy's family. If the boy had not 'stolen' the car, things would not have happened.

Sometimes I wish I was a prostitute. It's an easier job.

Lee Dewyze of AI is hot, so is Big Mike.

Some thoughts

Blog ini dah bersawang, tapi tak pe takde siapa perasan pun.

Apapun aku nak merekodkan fikiran aku pada masa ini untuk renungan aku masa hadapan. Bila aku renung kembali mungkin aku gelak mungkin tidak. So, ini dia apa aku nak cakap.

Aku heran dengan orang yang tak bersyukur dan yang tak bertanggungjawab dengan amanah yang agak mewah yang diberi. Untuk lebih spesifik aku nak mengata sikit (Ya Allah, ampunkan dosa aku) mengenai kawan-kawan aku yang telah diberi biasiswa untuk belajar tapi tidak habis. Kebelakangan ni adalah dalam 3 - 5 orang kawan-kawan aku begitu. Ada dua yang telah ke luar negara dan tak balik-balik sampai sekarang dan kalau ikut kiraan yang sorang tu dah 8 tahun pegi tak balik lagi. Kalau buat degree atau Phd, dah dua qualifications boleh dapat. Yang sorang tu lagi tak sedar diri. Mula-mula dulu dia tak dapat pun tawaran biasiswa pegi oversea, tapi disebabkan pertalian persaudaraan dan politik maka tiba satu surat dari boss kerajaan tertinggi untuk menawarkan biasiswa ke luar negeri. Sekarang ni tgh enjoy kat oversea tapi macam tak nak balik. Nasib baik dia dah habis, tapi haruslah dia balik sebab dia telah guna duit-duit orang yang membayar income tax.

Yang lain tu sudah kembali bertugas tapi tidak habis lagi. Agak tidak sesuai lah bagi mereka ini untuk menasihati orang lain untuk habiskan pelajaran mereka sedangkan mereka sendiri tidak habis lagi. Sebagai role model mereka tak seharusnya di contohi. Tapi yang sorang tu telah mendapat tokoh pengajar terbaik (aku tidak dengki dengan dia disini).

Apapun apabila kita ada orang bayar untuk pendidikan kita, diberi elaun sara hidup dan diberi gaji penuh, ianya sepatutnya menjadi motivasi atau dorongan untuk menjadi investment yang baik.


One more thought, I'm not penetrable. 3 people tried so far but they can't get in. I don't know why.

Sekian

HOT

The new batch of royalties are hot.

I don't know how people can take it...

It was only the head yet it was painful. How do people do it?

THANKSGIVING

Let it be documented here that I would like to thank Allah swt. for fulfilling the following 'doas' I've made:

1. For making my PhD journey a successful one and a breeze. Only God knows how many times I've prayed to him for these starting way back in 1999, 2000, 2002 in Mekah, Madinah and continued until I completed it last year.

2. For making my nephew move back to stay with his mom. I've made doa for this during the fasting month and one day he decided to move.

3. For enabling me to pay my credit cards, full amount, all time

to be continued

UPDATE - RANDOM THOUGHTS

It's been a few weeks since my last update...who reads this blog anyway. Nevertheless, since it's a journal it is meant to be reflected upon later.

Here are some of the things that are on my mind right now:

I saw a Malay wedding album, on Facebook, of somebody I don't even know but a friend of one of my FB friends. One of the pictures in the album shows the bride throwing the bouquet of flowers to her unmarried friends at the back. I really do not know to react. Should I be shocked or should I be worried or should I not react at all? Anyways, I don't think we should be copying the West. Like it or not our wedding culture has changed. Just 2 days ago my friend told me that at a wedding he attended they now serve Soto, Laksa...hmm.

I have the hots for 3 of the people I work for.

I saw Oprah's Whitney Houston interview last night. It was really good. The woman loved Bobby Brown so much that she was willing to sacrifice her career. Whitney said Bobby was her drug.

I've come the a phase that I wish I was my own boss. I'm tired of people telling what I have to do. I cannot afford to be my own boss.

My new sister in law is a bitch.

Update

Tak tau apa nak tulis so I tulis apa je yg ada dalam kepala aku.

1. Aku sekarang subscribe Wimax untuk guna kat office aku sebab Internet kat office ni slow nak mampos. Jadi sebelum aku humban CPU ofis ni kat lantai dan lepas tu kena tindakan disiplin baik aku subscribe broadband. Laju giler kalau banding dengan connection kat office. Dah lama memang nak subscribe tapi coverage belum ada lagi masa tu, sekarang dah ada. Ironi kan, tempat kerja aku ni ada perkataan Teknologi pada nama dia, tapi teknologi macam haram.

2. Raya ari tu macam biasa jer walaupun ibu aku baru saja pulang ke rahmatullah. Aku memang tak brapa suka beraya kat sini, aku lebih suka beraya overseas sebab orang2 sana akan berusaha untuk memeriahkan suasana hari raya. Kampung pulak dah takde dan nadi keluarga pun dah takde. Dulu nadinya adalah nenek aku. Lepas dia tak de Raya dah kurang makna.

3. Aku tengah sangap ni, hmmm